Suggested Grade/Age Range: Grade 3 (ages 8-9)

Activity Objective: The goal of this activity is to teach children to say no confidently in social situations where peer pressure is being applied.

Friendship Learning Goals
Big Messages to Kids

Link to Ontario Curriculum

Materials Required:

Scenario cards

Prep Time: 5-10 minutes

• Prepare and print a class set of scenario cards. Ensure there are some extra copies on hand
• Have chart paper on hand for recording responses during whole class discussion

Task Time: 30 minutes

• Introduce activity
• Facilitate activity
• Class discussion

Activity Description:

Opening Discussion:

1.       Explain to the class that sometimes we are pressured by friends and/or peers to do things that do not make us feel comfortable or safe and sometimes these actions can be harmful

2.       If appropriate, ask the children to share any experiences where they felt it was hard to say no to a friend or peer about a request (or request a show of hands if personal details are sensitive). It is important that we know how to say no in these situations

Emphasize to the children that both verbal and non-verbal cues when saying no are important. For example, for verbal cues, it is important to be clear and firm, to not apologize for a no statement, to be direct, and to repeat a no statement as needed. In terms of non-verbal cues, it is important to reinforce “no” with shaking the head, standing up tall and making direct eye contact, etc.

Activity:

3.       Pair up the children and then hand them each the scenarios template:

Tell each pair that they will alternate roles with each scenario (for example, partner 1 gives suggestion and partner 2 practices saying no and then switch roles in the next scenario)

Once the two individuals have had an opportunity to role play all three scenarios, they will discuss and write down two more scenarios and responses that they will share during the whole class discussion that will follow

Wrap-up Discussion/Presentations:

4.       Have each pair present the scenarios and responses that they created to whole class. Have a discussion with the class using the following questions as guidelines:

How did it feel to say no to each of the suggestions? How did it feel in your body to say no?

Was it harder to say no when your partner tried to persuade you in different ways?

For the person doing the suggesting, how did it feel when the other person kept saying no?

How did it feel when the person you are saying no to did not seem to want to understand or accept your response?

Why is it important to respect our friends or peers when they say no to our suggestions? How would we want them to respond if we were saying no to them?

5.       On chart paper, write down children’s ideas around how to say no to friends. This can be put up in the classroom as part of Community Building

Activity Extensions:

Have children write in their journals or writer’s notebooks an instance whereby they had to say no or they can write about a future situation where they can practice saying no

Children can design posters giving suggestions on how to say no to friends in a firm, confident, but respectful way

Additional Comments:

It is imperative to address the fact that in dangerous situations outside of the classroom, it is not always possible to say no and that option may not be available. We should not feel bad for not being able to say no in those situations.  It is critical that children know to ask for help from an adult they trust afterwards

Additional Resources:

You may also choose to review the Friendship and Social Support Literature Review before implementing this activity. It can be found here.