Suggested Grade/Age Range: Grades 4-6 (ages 9-11)

Activity Objective: The goal of this activity is to teach children how to communicate assertively. This is an especially important skill, especially when relating to peers, in difficult social situations

Learning Goals
Big Messages to Kids

Link to Ontario Curriculum

Materials Required:

• Copies of scenarios (enough for each pair of children)
• Pencils and erasers

Prep Time: 10-15 minutes

• Make copies of the scenarios
• Gather all writing utensils
• Chart paper

Task Time: 40 minutes

• Whole class introduction
• Pair work
• Whole class discussion

Activity Description:

 Opening Discussion:

1.       Introduce the words ‘passive’, ‘aggressive’, and ‘assertive’ and ask the children to describe how they think each form of communication looks like

2.       Give a clear description of what each type of communication is like. Feel free to use the following as guidelines:

• Passive: Letting others take advantage of our rights. We may not express our feelings and needs clearly possibly because we want to please others or not upset them
• Aggressive: Taking advantage of other people’s rights in order to protect our own. It means trying to get our way by overpowering others or pushing them around. In order to get what they want, an aggressive person might explode angrily or blame others
• Assertive: Standing up for our rights without taking advantage of the rights of others. It means being respectful of others while expressing our feelings and needs

3.       Share an example scenario with the class and talk about the three different types of possible responses to the scenario. Ask the children which type is the healthiest type of response and why. If they do not respond with the ‘assertive’ response as being the healthiest form, gently guide the discussion there and explain why

Activity:

4.       Tell the class that they will work in pairs on coming up with passive, aggressive, and assertive responses for three different scenarios. They will present their answers to the whole class during the discussion

5.       Pair up the children and give each pair a copy of the scenarios sheet and have them spread out to work on the responses. Circulate to each group to provide support and give feedback. Give them about 20 minutes to work on this

Wrap-up Discussion/Presentations

6.       Gather the class back for a whole class discussion. First, allow each pair to share their responses for the scenarios. Encourage individuals to creatively use their voices and body language to convey each type of response

7.       Write their responses under the categories “Passive Response”, “Aggressive Response”, and “Assertive Response” on chart paper

8.       Once all the pairs have shared their responses, engage the class in a discussion about them:

• What do you notice are the differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive responses?
• When we respond in a passive way, how do we feel? What does this feel like in our body?
• When we respond in an aggressive way, how do we feel? What does this feel like in our body?
• When we respond in an assertive way, how do we feel? What does this feel like in our body?
• How might the person listening to our response feel when we respond in a passive, aggressive, or assertive way?
• What do you think happens when you respond in a passive way? In an aggressive way? In an assertive way? Why?
• Why is responding in an assertive way, especially in difficult social situations with peers, a healthy and effective way to respond?

Potential Adaptations:

Write out the definitions for “Passive Response”, “Aggressive Response”, and “Assertive Response” on chart paper and include examples/illustrations that individuals can refer to during the activity

Activity Extensions:

This activity can be part of building classroom community and a description or ‘how to’ can be brainstormed by the whole class on how to respond assertively to various requests that can be posted in the class as part of an agreement on relating in healthy ways

Additional Comments:

Some children may not feel comfortable responding in certain ways, especially in front of the whole class. Tell the children that they do not have to present in front of the class if that makes them uncomfortable. Also give them the option to come up and present the answers to you individually at some point if that makes them feel more comfortable

Additional Resources:

You may also choose to review the Communication Literature Review before implementing this activity. It can be found here.