Discussion Questions:

*Note: Potential answers are provided in italics after each question and can be used to guide the discussion if needed. Answers youth give may differ from these and their answers should be prioritized and used to steer the discussion as their answers will be what is most applicable/relevant to their experiences.

1. Why was Bonita so happy that Esther wanted her to hang out with the group?

• Bonita always wanted to hang out with a group of friends
• Esther was known as the “cool girl” who did “cool things”
• It was exciting to do fun things with new friends
• Being friends with Esther might have boosted Bonita’s social status
• Self-esteem can be influenced by the approval of others rather than our true self-worth

2. What are some clues that the friendship isn’t healthy based on how Esther treats Bonita?

• Esther pressures her friends to complete dares to prove their “worthiness”
• Esther shames Bonita for trying to turn down a dare (e.g., calling her lame)
• Esther threatens Bonita when Bonita tries to turn down a dare (e.g., telling her she can’t hang out with the group anymore)
• Esther manipulates Bonita through fear by threatening to make this all Bonita’s fault if she tries to get help
• Esther has a lot of power and uses it in her friendship with Bonita and with her other friends in an unhealthy way
• The dares Esther is making Bonita do are “ramping up” in their risk

3. What are some clues that the friendship isn’t healthy based on how Bonita feels about it?

• Bonita feels increasingly uncomfortable with how Esther treats her
• Bonita ignores her intuition/gut feelings about what she is being asked to do and about her friendship with Esther
• She feels pressured to commit the dares
• She feels scared about losing Esther’s friendship and membership in the friendship group
• She feels worried about the consequences of not following through with Esther’s dares

4. What should Bonita do now?

• Tell a friend, like Aiden, about what is happening and they can perhaps accompany her to get help
• Talk to a trusted adult (e.g., Healer Joe)
• Talk to Esther or consider the safety of talking to Esther
• Have a trusted adult present to mediate a conversation with Esther
• Seek other opportunities for more supportive friendships
• Have a trusted adult accompany Bonita to apologize to Brock’s dad and return the dragon

5. In the beginning of the video Bonita commented, “Man friendships are tough…”; what are some factors that can make friendships feel “tough”?

• Answers will vary.
• Key themes that may emerge can include: conflicts with friends, picking sides, snitching, peer pressure, etc.

6. What are some characteristics of a healthy friendship?

• It is based on mutual respect, trust, acceptance, and kindness
• There is open communication
• There are healthy boundaries

7. What are some ways you can address an unhealthy friendship?

• Being self-aware around what makes you feel uncomfortable in the friendship
• Communicate clear boundaries with friends
• Mutual respect, trust, and acceptance are key in a healthy friendship; pay attention to when these qualities are not present or out of balance; if it feels safe, talk to your friend about this
• Seek help from a trusted adult if you feel unsafe in a friendship or relationship
• Look for useful resources (e.g., Kids Help Phone)