Suggested Grade/Age Range: Grades 7-8

Activity Objective: The objective of this activity is to explore the different obstacles that may prevent or hinder the consent process and brainstorm strategies around them

Materials Required:

Paper for individuals to take notes on

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Gather needed materials

Task Time: 30-40 minutes 

Activity Description:

1.       Review over the definition and process of consent (use the FRIES model provided in the Overview and Discussion Questions) with the whole class

Remind the class that the process of  consent does not only apply to sexual activity, but for all kinds of behaviours/activities where healthy boundaries need to be established and where we have to get permission from another individual

2.       Explain to the class that in order to successfully engage in the consent process, it’s important to look at some of the obstacles we experience that may prevent us from asking for consent or engaging in behaviour without properly giving consent. Divide the class into small groups of 3-4 individuals and have them brainstorm and write down some (2-3) obstacles they identify

For example, we might feel awkward about asking for consent, especially if we feel the behaviour we are engaging in is relatively “harmless” ( e.g., giving someone a hug, posting a picture of someone on social media, etc.) and we may be judged for asking (e.g., making a “big deal” out of something)

 3.       Allow each small group to present the obstacles they came up with and write these down on the board. Some of them may overlap, add additional notes beside them if different groups provide different reasoning or examples

 4.       Below is a list of common obstacles reported by youth. Some of these may have already been brought up by the class. Take the time to explore each of these and make time for questions and real life examples:

 Awkwardness – Talking about consent can be awkward. It is important to know that even though it may be a little awkward at first, talking about consent can help ensure safety and prevent confusion. Also, it’s okay to acknowledge that these conversations can sometimes be awkward

Emphasize that although this applies to sexual activity, it ALSO applies to a lot of other activities such as when giving a friend a hug (or any other physical contact with someone) or when tagging someone in a picture in social media. Even though the behaviour may seem harmless, it is our responsibility to obtain consent if another individual is involved and can be impacted by the behaviour (e.g., the individual may be uncomfortable with hugs or physical contact, the individual may not want their photos to be tagged, etc.)

Power Dynamics – It is important to be aware of how unequal power dynamics in any kind of relationship can influence the process of consent. Age can be a factor that leads to unequal power dynamics. Sometimes youth may say “age does not matter”, but it is important to be aware of age as a potential marker for maturity, experience, and vulnerability.  For example, the person with less power may feel pressured or coerced into giving consent. In any situation with unequal power dynamics, the person with more power(e.g., the older person)  has increased responsibility to check in during the consent process

· The person with more power has the responsibility to not misuse it and to properly seek consent

·  The person giving consent needs to check in with how safe one is feeling around giving consent; it is important to listen to one’s gut or intuition – if one is feeling pressured or coerced into agreeing to something, that is not true consent

 Social Pressures – Youth may think that “everyone is doing this so I should too” and therefore feel pressured to engage in various behaviour that they may not actually consent to. It is important to emphasize that there needs to be free choices around consent and readiness for various behaviours is subjective and will depend on the individual. Also, even if everyone is talking about something does not mean that everyone is doing it or feels comfortable with it

· It is important to keep checking in with one’s “gut” or intuition to determine how comfortable and how safe one feels about agreeing to any kind of behaviour or activity. Feeling pressured to do something is not true  consent

· Examples: “Everyone is sending their partner inappropriate pictures of themselves so I should too if they ask me to.” “Everyone is drinking at this party so I should too.” “All the guys slap each other in the back of the head without asking, so I should do it too and be okay with being slapped.”

 Alcohol/Drugs – There is a common misconception amongst youth that if one is intoxicated, they are less responsible for their behaviour. It is important to help youth reframe how responsibility works when substance use is involved. That is, responsibility is heightened when one is intoxicated. Youth need skills around identifying signs that the other party is unable to consent when under the influence of any substances.

 5.       In closing, emphasize again that consent is a necessary process for establishing healthy boundaries. Any behaviour or activity involving the agreement/permission of another individual, no matter how insignificant we think that behaviour is, requires authentic consent based on the FRIES model. When we are not sure or when a situation is in a “grey zone”, as the initiator of an activity, it is always better to seek consent. As the giver of consent, always check in with one’s gut or intuition to determine how safe or comfortable one feels about the behaviour or activity before giving consent

Activity Extensions:

Assign one of the obstacle themes discussed to each small group and have them design a scenario for it. Have them act out the scenario including the strategies or solutions for seeking and giving consent

Additional Comments:

As needed, encourage all students to respect each other’s feelings and experiences and review over class conduct around respectful discussions

Additional Resources:

The facilitator may choose to read more about the FRIES model by Planned Parenthood here:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/all-about-consent

Note: The model is discussed around the consent process for sexual activity, which is important to acknowledge, but the conversation can be generalized to consenting in other activities or behaviours – the foundation is around teaching youth to establish health boundaries when relating to different individuals in all types of relationships.