PEP Talk: Intermediate / Program Themes and Activities
Building Friendship
- What are some important qualities in a good friend?
➢ Someone who supports you, makes you feel good about yourself, listens to you, and stands by your side
➢ Someone who is honest, trustworthy, understanding, respectful, loyal, kind and caring
➢ Someone who will get help for you when you are in need of help - Why are friendships important?
➢ It helps us feel connected to others and not alone
➢ It boosts our self-esteem and makes us feel cared for
➢ We can count on others when we need help or support - What does a healthy friendship look like?
➢ It is based on mutual trust, respect, acceptance, and kindness
➢ There is open communication
➢ There are healthy boundaries - Why are boundaries important in a friendship?
➢ We need to be able to express when we feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a situation with a friend
➢ We need to be able to say no or decline when a friend invites us to participate in something that makes us feel uncomfortable or unsafe
➢ We need personal space and also need to respect the personal space of others - How can friends resolve conflict in a healthy way?
➢ Speak clearly and listen carefully to the other person
➢ Use “I-statements”*
➢ Respect each other’s boundaries
➢ Find a safe, quiet space to have a conversation
➢ Find a trusted adult or peer to help mediate the conversation
*“I-statements” focus on the thoughts and feelings of the speaker (e.g., “I feel…” or “I think…”). It can facilitate healthy communication and help resolve conflict because it allows the speaker to express what they need without making assumptions or accusations of the listener (e.g., “You feel…” or “You think…”). - What can you do if a friendship becomes unhealthy or toxic?
➢ If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, approach the individual to have a conversation about the friendship and think of ways together to help the friendship become healthier
➢ Go to a trusted adult* for support around how to approach this friendship
➢ Have a trusted adult* step in and mediate a conversation about how the friendship is going
*Sometimes, youth may be hesitant to approach an adult for help because of their worries about how adult intervention can impact their friendships (e.g., their friend might get upset and break up an important friendship, retaliation for talking about the friendship with someone, etc.). Emphasize to youth that they should tell these concerns to the trusted adult that they approach and together, they can think of a way to approach the friendship that feels safe to the youth and addresses their concerns. - How are friendships formed?
➢ Through getting to know others better in your school, neighbourhood, and/or community
➢ By finding common goals, interests, and hobbies with others around you
➢ When you are interested in others and approachable
➢ When you participate in new things
➢ When you reach out to others and invite them to join you in activities - How can we overcome some of the challenges around making friends?
➢ Stay true to yourself – your thoughts, feelings, and choices are important even if they may be different from others. Make friends with individuals who you feel you can be yourself with
➢ Be patient and keep reaching out to others to build a circle of healthy friendships
➢ Take the time to get to know someone better to see if you share the same values about friendship
➢ Join different activities in your school, neighbourhood, community for youth that can help you connect with peers