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Discussion Questions:

*Note: Potential answers are provided in italics after each question and can be used to guide the discussion if needed. Answers youth give may differ from these and their answers should be prioritized and used to steer the discussion as their answers will be what is most applicable/relevant to their experiences.

1. What value did Mel get from spending time online?

• She is able to present herself more confidently online
• Mel is really shy when meeting people in person and has an easier time meeting them online
• She doesn’t have many friends and has not been in a romantic relationship

2. What tactics did Whiskers use to get close to and establish trust with Mel?

Note: The tactics that Whiskers used were for the intention of getting close to Mel

• Whiskers showed a lot of interest in Mel’s life by asking about school and her friends
• He was a good listener and listened to her problems
• He would comfort Mel and have encouraging things to say to her when she is going through challenges
• He complimented her on her fashion sense and made Mel feel good about herself

3. Did Whiskers represent himself honestly online? Why are people not always honest/truthful about themselves online?

• No, Whiskers is not who he portrays himself to be online (i.e., picture of a white cat versus the actual Whiskers, who is a wolf)
• People might have a motive/purpose for misrepresenting themselves (e.g., to be liked or popular, to gain someone’s trust, to mislead someone, to exploit someone, etc.)
• People may not always be honest about themselves online because it is easier to misrepresent oneself online; the individual can maintain a sense of anonymity
• People might misrepresent different aspects of themselves, not just their appearance (e.g., age, interests/hobbies, life circumstances, etc.)
• It’s harder to verify if someone is telling the truth about themselves or not online

4. What are some clues that people are misrepresenting their intentions online?

• They might ask you to keep this interaction/relationship a secret
• They might request to start a private chat
• They might talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable
• They might ask you to stop hanging out with other people
• They might ask you to send explicit images and videos of yourself

5. What manipulative tactics did Whiskers use to pressure Mel into sending more photos and videos of herself?

• Whiskers acted really upset and accused Mel of leading him on
• He made Mel feel really guilty and like she was a “bad girlfriend”
• He threatens Mel that if she doesn’t send him more pictures and videos, he will make the ones she sent public online. This is with the intention to obtain more photos and videos from Mel
  

6. Is it Mel’s fault for sending more photos? Why do you think she did so?

Note: Let youth answer this question however they like around whether or not they think this is Mel’s fault. The focus of this conversation should not be about Mel’s behaviour to avoid victim-blaming. It is also not about the “do’s or don’ts” around online activity. The focus is on unpacking how this is not Mel’s fault as she was exploited by Whiskers.

• No, it is not Mel’s fault as she had thought she was in a genuine relationship with Whiskers and thought the first photo she sent would be confidential between them; she trusted Whiskers and their relationship
• Whiskers exploited Mel by gaining her trust and making her believe he liked her and wanted to be in a relationship with her
• Later on, Mel was coerced/exploited into sending Whisker more photos out of guilt and then fear of him publishing the pictures online

7. What are the barriers Mel is facing around getting help?

• Whiskers had threatened to publish the pictures and videos online if she told anyone
• Whiskers had made Mel feel that this is all her fault and she will be blamed
• Mel might feel ashamed and/or embarassed and does not want to tell anyone
• Mel is afraid of the consequences (real or perceived) from disclosing

8. How can Mel get help now?

• Mel can tell a trusted adult what has happened
• Mel can use a resource like NeedHelpNow.ca or Kids Help Phone
• Mel can tell a trusted peer and together they can go tell a trusted adult what happened
• Mel can report the incident to authorities

9. If you were Mel’s friend, how could you support her?

• Encourage Mel to get help from a trusted adult
• Offer to support Mel in reaching out to a trusted adult
• Explore helpful resources together
• Emphasize to Mel that this is not her fault
• Ask Mel what she needs in terms of support

10. What are some helpful messages for Mel?

• This is not her fault
• She is worthy of getting help
• What happened does not define who she is
• In time, she will get through this
• Identify and build a support network around herself